Client Testimonial: When The Fog of Love Clears

“Master, aren’t your words too harsh? I know him so well!”

27/11/24 Email #1: A Shocking Revelation

Amitabha, dear Master Ji Qian, greetings.

In May 2022, you analyzed my Bazi. Later, you also did the same for my husband and son. Do you remember me?

We met again at the Chinese New Year’s Wish-Fulfilling Youth Dharma Ceremony in 2023 during the book signing event by our revered Guru at Taipei 101. I cherish that meeting and your guidance. I remember telling you then how much I loved my husband and that I wanted to help him, recounting my efforts in great detail.

You told me not to be attached to romantic love, advising instead to focus on cultivation. Having taken refuge, I should practice diligently and strive for my husband and me to become spiritual companions. At the time, I did not fully understand but committed your words to memory.

Over the past year and a half, I have been introducing meaningful articles and your videos to my husband, explaining them when I could. Previously, he would argue back, and when I could not explain well, I would retort angrily. Reflecting on this, I realized this was not the way to guide him.

I changed. When debates arose, I learned to calm down, apologize for my lack of knowledge, and promise to revisit the topic after further learning. Through this approach, I stopped pressuring him about taking refuge, not wanting him to associate Buddhism with unpleasant experiences.

A few months ago, he surprised me by expressing a desire to take refuge in Grandmaster. Two months ago, he successfully completed the refuge ceremony remotely from home. I was deeply moved and wanted to share my joy with you. However, I felt there was not much to celebrate yet, as he had not begun genuine practice. I decided to focus on improving myself instead.

Good thing I did not write to you then, as the real story was just beginning.

Shortly after meeting you, my husband said you had asked him about sexual misconduct (perhaps infidelity). He claimed he had not engaged in any. I was not present during the consultation, so I took him at his word.

Around that same period, he mentioned travelling to Bangkok for business opportunities through friends. He was deeply in debt, with little money left. He asked me for RM 2,000 for the trip.

I recalled our WhatsApp messages from September 2022, where I had questioned his frequent Bangkok trips within three months. He vaguely mentioned looking for opportunities. I thought, “Alright, I’ve helped him so much already—one more time won’t hurt.” I feared he might spiral into despair otherwise. During his four-day trip, I refrained from disturbing him much.

Fast forward to May 2023, he invited me for a short couple’s trip to Bangkok. I was thrilled; my parents helped watch our kids, and my husband seemed eager to spend time with me. Of course, I covered all the expenses.

But during the trip, I noticed something amiss. He was constantly on his phone, replying to messages. Late at night, as he slept, curiosity got the better of me. I checked his phone and discovered he was using WeChat’s “Open Chat” feature to chat with nearby strangers, mostly Thai women, posing as a single man on a business trip.

Confronted, he dismissed it as harmless chatting with no intent to act, especially with me present. He later apologized, claiming it was out of boredom and nothing more. Foolishly, I believed him, thinking his lack of further action was due to my presence.

Returning home, my trust in him waned. Occasionally, I would check his phone, finding no suspicious activity on WeChat. However, I noticed his LINE app was password-protected. Suspicious, but I chose not to press further.

Last Saturday, as I finished work late at night, I found his phone unlocked. Intrigued, I opened LINE—and what I found shattered me. My husband of nearly 20 years, the man I have known since university, was unrecognizable.

Inside were messages with a Thai woman he had met during his 2022 trip to Bangkok—the one I financed. Their messages were intimate and explicit. Even more shocking, they had reconnected earlier this year.

My heart sank. Though tears welled up, I did not lash out. Instead, I turned to Grandmaster’s latest book, reading His golden teachings. On page 53, Grandmaster emphasized patience and the practice of the Perfection of Forbearance (*ksanti paramita*).

Coincidentally, your livestream about infidelity appeared around the same time. Grandmaster’s compassionate words and your wisdom deeply resonated with me.

Over the weekend, I subtly hinted to my husband to watch your video, suggesting it was highly relevant. I do not know if he did, as he has not mentioned anything.

Reflecting on the years I have supported him—financially and emotionally—I am left feeling betrayed. I have sacrificed so much, even covering his expenses for an affair. It is laughable and tragic at the same time.

Perhaps this is karmic retribution for debts from a past life. My mother lives with us, and I do not want to worry her. I also have three children to consider. I refuse to live as a bitter, nagging wife.

Thanks to you, Master, I have recognized my situation. Your guidance two years ago—advising me to protect myself and my children—rings truer than ever. I regret not heeding your words sooner.

For now, I remain unsure of my next steps. Pretending nothing happened feels impossible. I am most angered by the fact he shared photos of me and our children with this woman. If she harbours malicious intent, she could endanger our family.

Master, thank you for your foresight and teachings. You are my greatest benefactor in this lifetime. With gratitude, I commit to using Dharma to navigate this predicament.

With folded palms,
Lotus OO

1/12/24 Email #2: Career Advancements!

I am deeply grateful to have received your reply, Shifu. At that time, I was so lost and did not know whom I could confide in. The words you said to me back then felt like a sharp blow, hitting me hard. It was such a painful realization. At that moment, I even wondered if you were being too harsh. I thought, surely, he would not be like that, would he? After all, we had been together for 18 years at that time—I thought I knew him well (what nonsense! Forgive me, Shifu, I was too naive 🙇🏻‍♀️🫣). I’m so grateful you were willing to read my email and respond. I truly appreciate it.

Shifu, I work at OO Bank. Back then, you mentioned that this industry was not suitable for me because of my Fire element; however, the bank’s name is favourable for me. So I consider myself lucky—at least I have a stable career. I am deeply grateful for your guidance. After meeting you, I followed your advice (strictly speaking, I have not fully followed through yet because I have not completely achieved my weight loss target).

Nevertheless, the following year, my annual salary increased by 28%—even more than the raise I received during my promotion the previous year. So my testimonial is not just about unhappy matters; I have also seen progress in my career. Just as you said, my Bazi is weak—when one area improves, another might decline. That is why I sincerely hope you can use my email as a testimonial, as everything you have said has been truthful, insightful, and genuinely aimed at helping us reform and rebuild ourselves. I am truly grateful, Shifu. 🙏🏻🙇🏻‍♀️

I feel that the greatest gain is not just the Bazi reading you provided, but most importantly, through you, I have come to know and learn Buddhism. Over the past two years, I have had various insights. Because of Buddhism, I’ve learned to become a better person. In terms of how I interact with people and handle situations, I have learned to let things go when possible; I no longer act condescendingly and have become more humble and open in dealing with everyone and everything. I am deeply grateful for your teachings, Shifu. 🙏🏻

I am truly grateful to you, Shifu. Without encountering you and learning Buddhism in time, I feel that if I had discovered my husband’s issues at this moment without this foundation, I would not just feel disappointed—I might have blamed heaven and earth, and lashed out at him with yelling and anger. Now, I am able to stay calm. I spent an entire week thinking before having a conversation with him and also took the time to self-reflect.

My perspective aligns with what you said: my goal is, first and foremost, to let him know that I am aware. Whether or not he changes is secondary—at the very least, I have made it clear that I will no longer act like a 24-hour convenience store, always at his beck and call to clean up his messes. Because once I know and still allow him to continue, I too bear some responsibility.

As Shifu mentioned, when I got married, I vowed to face challenges together with him. Before the marriage dissolves, all I can do is fulfill my part. Many things are up to both of us to handle wisely.

I have already canceled five insurance policies, leaving only basic life and medical coverage. I just need to update the beneficiaries. I will keep working hard to plan my next steps carefully and take care of the children as well.

Thank you for your guidance, Shifu. I will handle this matter cautiously. I have calmed down significantly and no longer cry or feel agitated. I also understand that everything happens for a reason.

In spring, there are blossoms; in autumn, the moon.
In summer, there is a breeze; in winter, the snow.

Everything is the best arrangement.

Once again, thank you, Shifu. 🙇🏻‍♀️♥️

May you always be safe, healthy, and blessed.

With palms joined,
Lotus OO