Thank you, But I Will Deal With My Own Destiny

“You could have chosen to be kept by a man early in your life. Why did you not?”

“Everyone should grow abilities for their own lives. What I wish to be is a big lotus that blooms out of the slushy mud, pure and untainted. Not a little flower that is incubated in a greenhouse.”

I come from a family, where almost all the women are strong and self-reliant. My 78-year-old grandaunt lives alone, never marry and has no kids. When my grandfather got married, he brought my young grandaunt to live with him. In the twenty over years he passed on, when my grandmother was still alive, grandaunt would still give a monthly allowance to my grandmother (her sister-in-law), despite being 60 over years old.

She is just a lady who works odd jobs. The monthly allowance she gave my grandmother is from her hard-earned money.

Grandaunt did not receive much of an education. I am a university graduate. How can my abilities be inferior to hers?

During my childhood, my family was laden with heavy debts. Every other day, there would be creditors incessantly calling the house phone or banging on the house door, asking for repayment. As a young girl, I often get pushed out to deal with these fierce-looking strangers. Reason being, when they saw a kid, they would often soften their tone of voice, and give a few more days for repayment.

I was frightened at that time. But if I didn’t do what I was told, I would get scolded or beaten badly. Even after I grew up, there are times when I would get ridiculously afraid. I count myself lucky that the Buddhadharma has an uplifting influence on me. The terror of facing a bear in front of me, and having a tiger chasing behind gradually moulded my tenacity.

Either I don’t do it, or when I do, I will burn my boats so that it’s either success or nothing.

A childhood where I was constantly frightened had me promising myself this: I will never let anyone or anything threaten me.

My Bazi did indeed indicate that I can opt not to work and rely on the financial support from a man.

But for an outstanding talent like me, if I do not come out to contribute to mankind and choose an easier way out, wouldn’t I be letting down the great genes of my ancestors of the past 18 generations, and the teachings from my Grandmaster and Shifu?

Ever since I started out, my work had benefitted a lot of people and my writings had helped grow the wisdom of many readers.

The skills that I hone in the past 10 over years give me freedom to earn money wherever I am. With the environmental Feng Shui worsening, the problems of mankind will only snowball and multiply. As long as I have the real skills, my line of work will only get more valuable as I age. Shifu often jokes that, if I have no business when I am old, I can still consider setting up a fortune-telling stall in front of the Guan Yin Temple at Waterloo Street, to pass time. 😄

Should I have to go through another reincarnation, at the very least, there will be this seed of unflinching courage and perseverance planted in my subconscious. Because I made the effort to.

If I opt to rely fully on a man, and have no independent ability of my own, what will happen to me when he has a change of heart?

My mum also had many offers from men, who wanted to make a mistress out of her. But for the sake of us, the children, she rejected all of them. Through her own perseverance and efforts, she still managed to raise me.

She also said if a man is unwilling to give you a legal status, don’t waste your youth on him.

The adults’ teaching by example will always carry more weight than what they preach.

The kind of Destiny the adults have will also be similar to the kind of Destiny their children will have.

The me right now does not have to live an ignoble existence nor live my life according to the mood of a man. When I wish to make money, I go make money. When I feel like writing to talk with all of you, I write. In my spare time, I continue honing my skills in Buddhadharma and Chinese Metaphysics, and develop my wisdom.

To me, this is the freedom that I had fought for many years. Such is the spirit that I wish for my children to learn.

Spending money is most satisfying, when this money is earned with a peace of mind. If the money is obtained through illegal/immoral ways, there will always be karmic consequences to bear, be it the spender is me or my family.

This article isn’t written to look down on other women, who choose to be kept by a man. Everyone has a different motivation in life. I only wish to awaken you, to continue treading on your original pure and pristine path in life. Among my women clients, those, who chose this easy route to money, do not have a happy ending.

For me, I just think that no other person will be more bothered and diligent than me, in creating the Destiny I covet.

If I do not have the ability, I am willing to learn humbly from the right teachers, and I am very fortunate to have two great ones in my life.

I will formulate my own Destiny.

If I can’t even transform my own Destiny, what right do I have to receive the red packets from others, to help them with their fortune and luck?