About Habit

What have you told your Destiny today?

A Dharma Sister bought tens of Shifu’s new book. She wanted to give out some of them through her Facebook platform and was telling Shifu how she would do it by sharing his FB Live.

Unexpectedly, Shifu reprimanded her. Since she had been learning the Dharma for a period of time, why didn’t she try writing a post to introduce the book, but instead take to using the share function?

Most of us would know that sharing on FB doesn’t generate much interest as posts we write ourselves.

She hesitantly replied, “I don’t know how to write…”

Shifu said, to learn the Dharma is to learn how to use our brains to think. If we are lazy to exercise our brain conigitive ability, and resort to taking the shortcut u sharing here and there, for the sake of convenience and speed, then we have actually never put our heart in learning the Dharma.

Later on, I also told this Dharma Sister that in this world, there were still many men who looked down on women for our perceived lack of intelligence. Her Husband had hesitated to work together with her in his business because he felt she lacked the ability. Fact was, there were many areas she excelled in compared to her Husband.

Think about this, a lady, who is used to writing on her Facebook where she went to play today and which cafe she is going tomorrow to have cake, is just conveying how much she is enjoying her life. All these will only evoke the desire of hedonism in others, luring them to exhaust their good fortune.

Say one day, this lady has a momental thought to do good and preach about it. She haa been a Buddhist almost all her life. She wants to change her habitual FB posts to one that teaches others how to top up their good fortune, but that momental thought is swiftly replaced with a “I don’t know how”. If I am her mother, I would be so upset. Having funded her through school for 20 years, what had she been studying? How can a university graduate utter such disappointing words?

I sometimes think this is why we Buddhists often “lose” to our Christian counterparts. They seem to be more fearless and eloquent in talking about their religion than us Buddhists. Are we too used to being docile, that we let down the religion that helped us up?

Last weekend, while dining in a restaurant, I overheard the conversation of one elderly who was having dinner with her family.

She was saying this repeatedly, “This food is so nice when I eat here. When I buy the raw ingredients back to cook, I just never get about doing it. Why hah?”

And then she continued her monologue, “Aiyah, it’s a habit lah. Habit already lah!”

Upon hearing it, I felt a momentary sense of grief.

So many clients have said something similar in front of me, and some of them seemed to get so much joy in saying it, as if it justifies everything that have happened in their lives.

Sometimes, I would ask them, “Then why do you look for me? Why waste my time and your money? I come all the way here not to hear you speak in this killjoy manner. If you want to talk like this, do it at home.

Think about this for a minute. Did you come here today to hear me say, yeah, it’s like this lah? No, right? Then use your brain before you speak. Look at how old you are now. If you don’t know how to say, don’t talk nonsensically. This will only mess up your Destiny. Will it be worth it?

Sometimes, the reason why a person has a lousy Destiny is because he or she has a lousy way of speaking.

He or she habitually says things like,

“Don’t know.”
“Don’t know how.”
“Don’t understand.”
“Never thought of it before.”
“I’m used to it.”
“I’m so old already!”
“Whatever”
“Oh, is it?”
“Got to succumb to life.”
“My Destiny is like this.”

If you don’t know, you must ask.
If you don’t know how, then you should learn.
If you don’t understand, you can go figure it out.
If you never think about it before, think about it now.
If you are used to something, it’s time to breakthrough from your blind points.

So what if you are old? Does that mean there’s no need to have a better life? Why choose to torture yourself when you can have better fortune?

Whatever? You think you have not been “whatever-ing” enough? Look where you end up now.
Oh is it? Yes it is. Abo then?

If you have planned ahead, it’s time to do so now before it’s too late

It’s like this? It can also be like that. When “that” is better, don’t be foolish to continue like “this”.

Succumb to your Destiny? Our destiny is for us to recognise ourselves, and then turn things around.

Don’t be blockheaded and think that there is no other way out of your Destiny.

For this who think it’s troublesome to change, let me tell you this, your mindset is going to haunt you in your many subsequent rebirths. If you don’t get rid of your limiting beliefs, it will be more painful to live the same Destiny, again and again and again.

This morning, I was asking an old client, “Have you ever thought that your marriage like this will influence your child, into thinking that marriages are supposed to be like this?”

His reply, “I never thought of it.”

Our destiny has huge repercussions on the many people around us, including our loved ones.

Our habit of saying something begins from a thought.

And a thought can always be changed .

You will find a road ahead when you decide to take the first step and walk out.

You will find Spring again when you can turn your thoughts around.

7 more days before 2019 rolls in. I wish that you will not be afraid of hardship, not be resistant to changing your habits, and most importantly, not to be defeated by your own Destiny.

No matter how high the mountain is, no matter how windy the road ahead may be, with my help, you can always cross your hurdles with ease and joy. That is my assurance to you.